“I don’t think I could have done it.” Says one of my dear Cali friends. “Done what?” I ask her, confused. “I don’t think I could have followed my husband like that…leave all of my friends and the beach and everything, I just couldn’t do it.” I laughed. I didn’t think I could do it either. Trust me, I’m no picture of wifely submission.
It’s been about a month since we first set foot on Texas soil. I can’t believe how fast that month has passed. What I can’t believe more is how God has provided for us in these trying days. But then, why is it so surprising?
A little over a year ago, God made a promise to me. He promised me that we would be moving to Texas to be a part of congregation there. He filled me with joy and excitement but mostly with His peace. As time wore on, so did my trust. First, I began to doubt that we were going to move. Then, when I knew we were, I began to doubt that He would take care of us. I feared loneliness most of all.
But let me tell you. God has blown that fear out of the water. I’m not even doing
anything to deserve this you guys. I’m not praying as much as I “should be.” I’m not in the Word like I wish I was. I’m just barely hanging on. But he’s like, “It’s cool, I got this.” And He SO does.
He has blessed (I am not using that word lightly) me with the gift of friends (!already!) that I feel deeply connected to. He has provided a peace every single time I step into our church sanctuary. The congregation has welcomed us with enthusiasm, I hate to admit that is a rarity.
Now that’s just part of it. God is SO crazy good that He has also provided the selling of our home in Cali with no hiccups (SHOCKING considering there is a house across the street that has been for sale for about 6 months). Oh, and it seems that we have found the perfect home to settle into as well. That house sale will close on the 24th of February if it’s part of His plan. I just can’t believe this. Again, why am I surprised?? I have no idea. He has never once let me down and He has ALWAYS kept His promises.
So if you think that you couldn’t do this, I assure you that if God calls you to something you will feel such a peace in your heart and a fire in your bones that no one could STOP you from doing it. HE provides you that gift. Praise. If it were up to me to conjure that up then I’d still be sitting in California somewhere feeling the angst of discontent, knowing I wasn’t where I was supposed to be,
That’s the other thing that is so weird. I have lived in California my whole life. This last weekend we flew back to finish packing-up the house and you know what? I felt like a tourist. A tourist who knew where everything was but still, I felt like I wasn’t really supposed to be there. It’s like I just have this feeling so strong that where we are meant to be is there. It’s so humbling when God just straight up hijacks my emotions like that.
Seeing dear friends that have become family and even seeing some actual family was the hardest of all. Missing moments of their lives is painful. Growing kids and changing plans, all that happens without my presence, life just continues to press on. But in a way this is a gift in of itself. I covet connection and having friends all in different places in a strange way makes me feel more connected to the world at large. A plane flight. A text. A package. An instagram photo filled with joy. All keep us connected. It doesn’t feel as much like a loss but more like an opportunity to dig deeper, to fight for the relationships that are so treasured.
Thank you all so much for your continued prayers. They are working.
PS Friends & Family, when you’re done praying for us, come move to Austin!! I miss you!