Remember that one time when I said that Luca might be an only child? And then remember that other time (months later) when I was like, “I think we might actually be able to handle another kid…”? Well, now this is another time, and this time I’m saying I WANT TONS OF KIDS!!!
How in the world did this happen?? The woman who swore up and down I would never do pregnancy/birth/postpartum recovery again is now saying she wants FOUR kids. (I realize to some of you, four isn’t a lot, but considering that one was my limit, four is quite an increase.)
Luca trying to catch the “snow” falling at the Snoopy House.
I blame Luca. And probably God too. And maybe all of the cute babies in my Mama tribe. My husband isn’t helping either.
See, my kid has this intoxicating laugh. Plus he’s cute to the umpteenth degree. He insists on performing at least one new adorable behavior every day (his new thing is bowing). Oh, and he’s now initiating some intense snuggling. How could I not want more of this??
I know God did this on purpose. He’s like, “Oh, you think that you don’t want anymore kids huh? Pregnancy too rough for ya, was it? Well… BAM! Now you’re addicted to your toddler’s cuteness, which by the way, is a fleeting phase. And I’ll surround you with a dozen other cute babies. Oh, and I’ll give you a wonderfully supportive husband. How do those sleepless nights sound now? Not too bad I bet. That’s what I thought. You’re welcome.” That’s exactly what he’s saying. I know it.
So now I want to adopt 2 kids and have one more biological kid. FOUR. Is it a coincidence that “four” has always been my lucky number? Probably not.
The question now becomes: In what order do we begin adding to our little love nest? Should we adopt next, then bio, then adopt? Should I try to shoot for a bio next so that we’re not worried at all about timing (my midwife said this logic is silly by the way, given my current age)? What to do… what to do…
For now, I’m trying to just enjoy the time I have with Luca. We are doing some research into adoption (including a HUGE packet we just received about adopting from China..) and talking with others who’ve walked that path. But I’m not obsessing over it. For some reason, I feel a peace about it all. I have a feeling that God will make things very clear in time.
There’s more… Honestly, as excited as I am about adding to our family, I also get sad thinking about having to share myself with other kids. Luca has me all to himself right now. We’re buddies. In-sync and partners in crime. I feel like I’m able to pour so much into him and stay attuned to him more than I will be able to when we have additional kids. It saddens me to think of losing that bond.
How do you parents with multiple kids stay connected to each of them??
And do you really love your other kids as much as the first? It’s so hard to imagine that I could love another baby as much as I love Luca!
I’m really curious to hear your responses.
- I Was Adopted: Lindsey, Her Adoptive Mom, and Her Biological Mom Share Their Story (kindacrunchy.com)
- Get the ball rolling (bythepowerofgracecullfamilyblog.wordpress.com)
- The Truth About Adoption: Two Years Later (Jen Hatmaker)