As inspired by the book Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist, I have created a “Things I Don’t Do” list. Weird huh? Well the idea behind a “Things I DON’T Do” list is this: We can’t DO everything. There are so many important things to focus on in life and we just simply can’t do everything that we want (even though it seems like everyone else is able to). Oh, I would also like to give Pinterest a shout-out for making me feel like a loser because I don’t make lip balm lockets or upholster my box spring or transform egg cartons into “a garland of charming blossoms” (these are all real projects btw). When did this happen? It’s like we’re all supposed to be DIY Goddesses and nurturing mothers and supportive wives and… and… and. I’m over it. In her book, Shauna reflects on a time when her mentor said to her, “It’s not hard to decided what you want your life to be about, what’s hard is figuring-out what you’re willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.”
So, here they are, my Don’t Do’s and my Do’s…
Things I Don’t Do
– Gardening– I’ve discovered that I love buying flowers more than I love to keep them alive.
– Scrapbooking– It’s so cool to see the albums that other people have made… I just can’t bring myself to dive into this black-hole-of-a-hobby.
– Sewing– Ugh. I’ve tried, I really have. It’s just not happening.
– Run Marathons (or at all really)– I don’t have time for this because I really hate it. I hate running. It’s not fun, it hurts my knees and there are many more enjoyable things I can do for fitness. I respect people who run though and routinely cheer them on as I drive past them. (Boot camps also fall into this category)
– Any Kind of At Home Business– So many moms I know have their own businesses either selling their own crafts or selling other cool products… This just isn’t for me.
– Extravagant Crafting– Pinterest tries to lure me in every once in a while… Some of the crafts on Pinterest are reasonable but some are out-of-control (see above mentioned projects). I have no time for this. I will gladly pay another super-crafty mom to make a lip balm locket for me. That’s what Etsy is for.
– Getting Manicures– They never turn-out right and I hate spending the money.
– Card-Making (On a very rare and case-by-case basis)- I once loved card making, but you know what? It takes a lot of time and it can become more stressful than fun. When I have extra time and it seems fun, I will make some cards, if not, Hallmark will have to do.
– Watch TV- This one will have to move to the “Things I Do List” when Parenthood and Downton Abbey come back but until then, there’s just nothing good on.
Things I Do
– Keep My Spiritual Life at the Center– Daily Bible reading, contemplative prayer, and attending my beloved church on a weekly basis are crucial to my staying centered.
– Nurture My Marriage– Intentionally creating space to be together is crucial for us. We have time every night while Luca is sleeping and we try to have a baby-free Date Night once a month. Caleb and I try to take Luca and our dog Leroy on at least one walk a day. It feels so good to stretch our legs and to get out into the fresh air. It’s also a great opportunity for us to connect.
– Nurture My Son– This involves taking Luca out to see new things and to play, it involves playing/snuggling with him when I could be on Facebook (or cleaning), it also involves staying informed on the best parenting practices.
– Nurture Relationship with Family & Friends– We love to entertain. We also love to have coffee with friends and really invest in one another’s lives. I feel so alive when I have a houseful of people. I can’t give this one up.
– Cook Healthy Meals– This often involves lots of chopping and measuring… I’m ok with that. It’s so fun to try new recipes and experiment with rare ingredients. I love the way I feel when I eat healthier and so does my husband. I also think we are setting a good example for our son by treating our bodies right. There are times when I will need to sacrifice making a meal from scratch so that I can spend more time with Caleb and Luca. It’s all about balance right?
– Write– I love to write. My blog has become a safe haven for my journey through motherhood. I’m addicted to it. I don’t know that I could stop writing if I wanted to because even if I wasn’t physically putting any words down, they are constantly being written in my mind. This one is just part of who I am.
–Read– I couldn’t write well if I didn’t continue to challenge my beliefs and absorb new information. Reading helps me to grow. It’s also a source of refreshment.
Well that’s about it for now. I’m sure things will get shifted around as time goes on but it feels good to have written this all down. It’s like a weight is lifted because I don’t feel the pressure that I once put on myself to do things that just don’t work for me.
What’s on your “Things I Don’t Do List?”
If you liked this post, you may also like:
- Motherhood & Resentment (Or The Importance of Self-Care for Moms, Part 2) (kindacrunchy.com)
- When Being a Stay At Home Mom Sucks (kindacrunchy.com)
- The Importance of Self-Care for Moms (kindacrunchy.com)