When I was in high school, I had the misfortune of receiving the nickname, “Jackie Shmackie.” I was told that this nickname was created during a conversation between an ex-boyfriend of mine and his buddy. The heartbroken ex (I know, I was so cruel) was being consoled by his friend and said something like, “Oh brother! Jackie, Shmackie! Just get over it!” That’s why this title is so fitting for this post, “To Do List, To Shmu List!” I’m learning that I have to get over the fact that my “To Do List” will never get done.
It’s amazing really, because my “To Do List” once included things like:
- Deposit Check
- Get Oil Changed
- Call Dr. So and So to Discuss Client A
- Take Leroy to Vet
- Read Chapters 5-10 of “On Becoming a Person” (Really good book by the way)
Right now, however, my “To Do List” looks like this:
- Write a million “Thank You” notes
- Go Grocery Shopping
- Get Oil Changed (I still haven’t done that)
- Do Laundry
Of course, I omitted the major task which is: Keep Baby Alive. It’s kind of a given. In all seriousness, there is an actual Baby “To Do List” and it looks like this:
- Feed Baby When Hungry (Every 3 hours)
- Change Baby When Dirty (Every 2 hours)
- Help Baby Fall Asleep When Tired (Every 2 Hours)
- Soothe Baby When Upset (Every too many hours)
That’s pretty much my day in a nutshell. I wish I could everything done like I once could, but it’s just not happening anymore.
The other day, I had very ambitious goals for myself. Anytime you plan on doing more than one errand with a newborn you are ambitious. Luca, on the other hand, had some ambition of his own and that was to be a cranky-pants. He really only wanted to nap if I was cuddling him. So, of course, that’s what I did. Not willingly at first. At first it went like this: “Ok Luca, Mommy’s just gonna lay down here with you for a sec and then when you’re fast asleep, I’m going to sneak away and do the laundry…” But then something happened. I don’t really know what clicked, but as I was lying there with my baby boy I suddenly felt… sad. I had an epiphany and realized that this moment was so precious. My little boy needed his Mama. He wanted to snuggle with me. Years from now I will long for these moments. I decided that laundry could wait. “To Do List, To Shmu List,” I thought. I had all this tension built-up in my shoulders and I just released it. I touched his tiny little fingers and he wrapped them around mine. I realized that the most important task on my “To Do List” hadn’t even occurred to me: Bond with Your Son.