The nursery is done, we’ve taken all the classes, all the gear has been purchased… we’re ready, externally, we’re ready. Truth is, Caleb and I both feel like we’re about to jump off of a huge cliff, yet we are also feeling more and more excited to meet our Boo as each day goes by. There’s a lot of ambivalence about the situation! Everyone tells you that your life will never be the same, some even jokingly admit that your life is WRECKED after having a baby. One of my dear friends and a mom whom I admire says that she has no idea what she really did with her time before she had kids, “I must have been really selfish!” She says and laughs.
I have noticed that pregnancy has brought out a selfish side to me. Caleb said to me one night, “Well that makes sense, look at how much you’ve given our baby already.” He’s referring to the pregnancy. It wasn’t exactly the fantasy pregnancy that all women dream of. The one where you’re glowing and you can still wear your jeans as long as you simply unbutton the top. Yeah, that wouldn’t work out so well for me. I’ve gained 50 pounds at this point. Most of it is swelling due to the awesome ENDLESS summer we are having this year, but 50 pounds is a lot of weight to lug around regardless. I also had a bout of bed rest, I’m not even going to go into the details on that one, trust me, I’m doing you a favor. So needless to say, I’m not the biggest fan of pregnancy at this point. So, yeah, honestly there are times when I start to panic when I think about this little person coming into the world and needing every ounce of my energy. That just seems like something I don’t have to give.
I was talking with one of my therapist friends and she reminded me of something really awesome we learned in grad school. Psychoanalyst/Pediatrician Donald Winnicot is famous for his theories on child rearing. He reassures us that moms don’t need to be perfect just “good enough.” This article in Psychology Today summarizes his theory really well if you want to check it out. The idea is that the “good enough mother” is a REAL woman. She is both selfless and selfish. She is focused on her child but also preoccupied sometimes. She doesn’t lose herself completely in her role of mother. The best part is that research has proven that the mother’s failures actually help mature her children for the realities of life, therefore creating more well-adjusted kids. “Failures” refer to her inability to be attuned to the child’s every need. The purpose of his theory wasn’t to encourage negligence by any means but to reassure moms that being Super Mom wasn’t going to do anyone any favors. This comforts me so much. I can’t be Super Mom. I think I would seriously go crazy trying to be her! It’s nice to know that I will simply do my best and that will be good enough. So, all that being said, I’m ready. I’m ready to do the best I can.
Here are some pics of the nursery! I’d be lying if I said I’m not super proud of it. We worked really hard on it and repurposed a lot to save money. See that cute white cabinet? That was once a bathroom storage unit. And the hot air balloons above the rocking chair? They are paper lanterns that I got for $7 from Target. I just made the little baskets with twine and glue. Since we don’t know the gender, we went with a more neutral color scheme (turquoise is neutral right?). The theme is, “You Can Soar.” I hope you like it as much as we enjoyed creating it!