Dear Christian Men, We Need You


First, I want to thank you for reading this. Whether you subscribe to my blog (extra points!) or a woman in your life forwarded it to you (even better, extra points with her!). Just the fact that you’re reading this is evidence that you care about the women in your life. I appreciate your heart. This really isn’t another political opinion article trying to sway you to vote for the candidate of my choice. I will not be promoting a vote for Hillary or anyone else. This is a call for you and other men of faith to please tread cautiously and intentionally this election cycle for the sake of those you care about most. Because the truth is, we desperately need you to.

Let’s take a step back from this whole circus for a minute. Take GIANT step back, keep going. Ahhh, isn’t that nice? We can breathe easier over here. So from here we can see that there’s a guy running for President of the USA who totally breaks political barriers, he’s not a political puppet, he’s radical. Finally, someone out of the box.  Finally, someone who isn’t “playing the game.” Pretty cool right? And then, equally cool, there’s actually a woman running for president, for the very first time! This is so great because now you know you really can tell your daughter that she can be anything she wants to be. She really could be President of the United States of America. That is so awesome.

Now, you know this article is about women so let’s talk about that for a sec. Let’s turn our back away from the whole election completely and look at what life in America is like for the women you love in your life. I want you to think about your mom, your wife, your daughter, your niece. For many reasons that I won’t get into here, these loves of your life are being paid less than men with equal qualifications. This isn’t necessarily your fault, so no need to get defensive here, just let it be what it is: reality.

Keep thinking about your daughter, your niece, your wife, your mom… They are more likely to be victims of sexual violence. Imagine that. This is primarily because women are globally disrespected and objectified.

Now think about these same loved ones and all of the pressure they feel to look a certain way. More and more men are being pressured to look a certain way too, so I think you can kind of understand how hard this is. How hard it is to feel like your body needs to be perfect. To every day think that your body isn’t good enough. This will effect what you eat, what you wear, what you buy, almost everything because your body goes with you EVERYWHERE. Sucks to feel that pressure to have the six pack like that dude on Men’s Health, doesn’t it?

Now this one might sting a little but I have to go there. How many of you are still using porn every now and then? Statistics say that if you’re a Christian male it’s probably about 80% of you. The adult women in your life, and possibly the younger ones, know that you’ve seen it. We know what those women look like. We know how they act. Women in porn are there to be fun and to have no issues. images-7They’re not portrayed as real women with real personalities, real emotions, or real dreams. This is harmful for the women in your life because now we’re not only supposed to look perfect but we are supposed to “be” perfect. Now, I totally know that you don’t really wish that upon your daughters, your wife, your mom, your sister… But this is the message we’re getting whether you intended it or not. This  called, “objectification.” We’re expected to be objects. Again, I know this is happening with men too. I cringe every time I see women treating men with the same disrespect. I don’t think it’s ok. That is not how we achieve equality. That’s another topic for another time.

Ok, now that we’ve painted a little backdrop, let’s move back to the election. The women and girls in your life need you now more than ever. We’ve been sent all these messages and now here is a man running for President who is downright mean about the way women look. All of the women in his life look like they’ve had multiple rounds of plastic surgery and obviously we know that he loves beauty pageants. Look, there’s nothing wrong with beauty. However, when it is seen as the most important characteristic of a woman, well that’s just unfair and unkind. We are so much more than something to look at and take pleasure in. Would you really want your daughter to be on a stage in a bathing suit to be judged by hundreds, if not thousands, of people? Would you tell your little niece that if she doesn’t like her body, it’s ok, she can just get surgery someday? I say all of this because this is the message being sent by the Republican candidate. The one who is being backed mostly by Christian men. And I have to be honest with you, at first this angered me, but now I realize that actually, it really really hurts. 

It hurts a lot that my brothers are not sticking-up for me and my sisters and our daughters. It hurts that Christian men are putting politics above protection. We deserve more than a leader who objectifies women. I know what you’re doing now, you’re thinking “but who I am supposed to vote for??” Look, I’m not going to tell you to vote for anyone. But I am asking you to join many other leading Christian men and not vote for Donald Trump… because it is hurtful and damaging to the women in your life. It’s horrible that we are in this situation where we don’t have two outstanding candidates from the two major parties. I get that. But please, think about the message you are sending to the girls and women in your life. 


Let’s say you still decide to vote for Donald. That’s fine. But please, take a moment to tell your wife, your daughter, your sister, your mom, etc. that you are not okay with the fact that he supports the objectification of women. Tell them that you do believe women are equal to men and deserve the same amount of pay. Tell them why you are voting for him, but don’ t make it about Hillary, just make it about him. Because whether you like it or not, your vote is sending a message to us.

And for the women who are voting for Donald. I implore you to take a good look at how you value yourself. Do you find yourself feeling that you would be more valuable if you looked “better?” Have you subjected yourself to countless diets? Maybe even surgery to try to feel good enough? If so, then you are like me and you have drunk the Kool-Aid my friend. For so long we have bought into the lie that to be valuable we should be porn-pretty. This is just a lie. Spit. the Kool-Aid. out. To support Trump, you are saying that it’s ok to have a leader who has also bought into this lie. It could mean that you don’t really value yourself as a woman. Maybe there’s a part of you that believes you don’t deserve more pay or more respect. I’m not saying it’s true, but please consider it.

Look, I know this has been a lot and I really hate that this is even a political discussion but this election has made it so. All I’m asking is that if you’re a man, especially a Christian man, please take a moment to understand what it’s like to be a woman in our society today. Jesus always fought for the underdog and as much as I hate to admit it, women still are the underdogs of the world. Stick-up for us. Fight for us. Be our allies and advocates. We need you on our side.


Thanks for reading,

Jaclyn Signature





Why These Evangelical Leaders are Firmly Against Trump (Huffington Post)

7 Conservative Christians (Men) Who Are Not Supporting Trump (Religion News) – Max Lucado is on this list

Trump’s Offer to Christians is the Same Offer the Devil Made to Christ (Christian Post)  – “I know the editors of CP to be good evangelical Christians, but they made the same mistake many evangelicals are liable to make. They said they were actually tempted by Trump’s offer to “Vote for me, and I will give you Supreme Court picks and abolish the Johnson Amendment.”

Trump’s “tempting” offer is remarkably like another made two millennia ago … when the Devil offered Jesus the power to rule over all the kingdoms of the world with justice and mercy, if only Christ would bow down to the Devil. American Christians should not take a deal Jesus rejected.”

 It profits a man nothing to give his soul in exchange for the entire world … how can we possibly consider doing so in exchange for Trump’s empty promise of Supreme Court nominees?

It can’t be because of abortion. When George W. Bush was President, 2/3 of the Supreme Court were Republican appointees, and Republicans controlled the White House and all of Congress. Yet Roe remains. We cannot possibly be so naïve as to believe Donald Trump — who until he decided to run as a Republican supported partial birth abortion without restriction — would do more.”

I Have a Podcast!!


Hey Faithful Readers!

You’ve hung in here with me for almost 4 years now as I sporadically write whenever I get the itch. I want to thank you so much for your loyalty. I’m excited to share some news with you! I have a new project that I have been working on for a few weeks now, it’s a podcast called “Mountains are for Moving.” There we will tell stories about ordinary people doing extraordinary things. I have a WONDERFUL co-host, Susan Ramirez. She is the founder and President of the nonprofit, Austin Angels, which helps support kids in the foster system in many impactful ways.

We have our first episode up and running as of last night and I can’t wait for you to hear it. You’re going to need tissues but I promise there are some laughs in there too! Check out our website to subscribe via email: www. . We’re also on iTunes, GooglePlay and Stitchr. If you’re feeling friendly, follow us on Facebook and Instagram, too.😉

Thank you all for your wonderful support! I can’t wait to hear what you think about it!

Jaclyn Signature


Seeing Black & White: Everything is Developmental


For one of the first times in my life, I walked away. I actually walked away after feeling the sting of having my son being insulted (for being Black), being accused of being “sheltered,” and told I was “contributing to the problem.” I walked away and let me tell you, I’m not the kind to walk away. I walked away because something finally clicked (and maybe because my husband HIGHLY recommended it). The man who was insulting me would not, COULD NOT be reached. He sees black and white. I’m seeing gray. What I’m going to share with you could possibly sound incredibly narcissistic and I guess I risk that judgement. I risk it because I want you to know that this discovery has brought freedom to me. I’m hoping it brings freedom to you.

When I write an entire article about the importance of listening to the stories of People of Color does that mean I don’t want to embrace my dear friend who is terrified for her police officer husband to go to work?

When I say to support “Black Lives Matter,” does that mean that I don’t agree that all lives matter?

When I say to “Pray for Dallas” does that mean that I am anti-Black protesting?

Can I be enraged about police brutality and hold a deep respect for those in law enforcement?

Some of you reading this will understand that I can hold both. I can hold a love for police officers  and for the Black community. I can have a deep appreciation for law enforcement and at the same time see that there is a problem with the current system.

Some people CANNOT hold both.

I’m emphasizing CANNOT because I want you to understand that some people, because of where they are developmentally, neurologically CAN’T sit in a gray space. Things are black or they are white. That is how they see.

These people need to be differentiated from the people who could but WILL NOT see and the people who CAN AND WILL see.

As a writer, it’s scary to put my words out into the world. I’m sure there are times when you’ve posted on social media or had conversations with others when you felt that same risk. When we stand for something charged with the electricity of change, it’s a risk. If they can’t appreciate it, admire it, they’ll be burned by it. And when they get burned, they will try to burn you back.

So let’s peer into this a little closer. What do I mean when I say some people literally can’t sit in a gray space? I can’t be serious, right?

I wish I wasn’t serious but I’m also so relieved that I am.

Before I go on, here’s what I’m not doing.

I’m not excusing hate.

I’m not giving us all a pass to not speak-up.

I’m not saying that anyone is a lost cause.

Here’s what I am saying. We are all on a developmental curve. We develop spiritually, emotionally, and, most obviously, physically. That development is not linear and it’s not increasing at the same rate as chronological age. Emotional development is effected by many factors such as trauma and substance abuse. One of the milestones of emotional development is the ability to hold tension. As Christians, we come to embrace the paradoxical nature of our faith. To become great you must be the least. This is one example of holding tension. Two seeming opposites are true. In fact, it is one that fulfills the other.

#BlackLivesMatter is a beautiful example of this type of fulfillment. In order for “all lives” to matter, we must be honest that Black lives haven’t mattered as much as those of other races. For us to embrace that one does not negate the other is a sign of emotional maturity. As our brains matured, that helped us to see another way. Our minds were expanded and new possibilities were available to us.

Not everyone is so fortunate. Sometimes by choice but often by means of environmental factors, some are limited to a dualistic view of the world. They simply can’t hold both, it has to be one or the other. In the least patronizing way possible, I implore you that we must have compassion for these people. Compassion doesn’t mean aligning, it doesn’t mean excusing. It means recognizing that, through possibly no fault of their own, they CANNOT understand what you are trying so desperately to communicate. These are the people you talk sports with and leave it at that. By all means, test the waters but if you consistently find yourself being attacked, it’s probably best to switch gears. Continue reading